Last week I received a healing from another shaman who was referred to me by a friend. It was very interesting to notice all of the emotions that came up for me during our time together and even in the days leading up to it and afterwards. I felt as though the healing was necessary and I also felt quite a bit of fear.
About halfway though our session, I could feel a surge as the energy in my body began to move and many painful emotions and thoughts ran through my mind. As this was going on, I wondered whether I could or should ask to stop. I eventually did ask to stop because the pain was incredibly overwhelming. I did as much as I could during that time, and I continued to have emotional releases through tears in the next couple days. I expect that there will be more in the future.
In some ways I felt as though I had “wasted” a healing because I could not finish it, and I also felt as though it was beneficial because I felt some relief. The whole experience was a great reminder that it is always ok and important to take things in small manageable steps. Sometimes the pain that we’ve clung to feels too big to deal with all at once, but we can always let it go slowly in small bits.
We often feel that if we cannot go “all in” right away then there is no point in even trying and that it’s just easier to not deal with it. But acknowledging your own rhythm and feeling out your own pace of when and how to move through personal challenges is a big part of having compassion for ourselves.
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